Is that how you spell gorging? My spell check isn’t working. Something about an ajax call. Anyway.

That’s how internet marketing was for me at first. And it’s like I still haven’t learned my lesson, like I’m almost incapable of saving in the lean times. Of course, my situation is special, with the extra mouth to feed and always, always, the medical bills. Still, by now you’d think that when I get a nice chunk of change, I’d be better at leveraging it to last a few months.

With my first big splash, I made about ten grand in the space of two weeks. For a good six months after that, I barely worked. I thought the gravy train was going to last forever. I started out by putting some of the initial money into advertising. Then I just kept the cycle going. For every one thousand dollars I made, I put five hundred back into advertising. For that five hundred, I usually made around two thousand.

Thinking this would go on forever, I rewarded myself and my best friend, instead of pooling my resources to try and get out of my crummy situation.

My friends say I’m too hard on myself, because normally, I was making short money. At any one time, I would only have about three thousand dollars on hand – and I have about thirty thousand dollars worth of money problems. So I couldn’t be expected to fix all of that with the short change I had and pay bills, right?

My thing was, until I hit my thirties, I’d always been good at saving. I could eat Top Ramen for a month straight. On the other hand, I can deny myself any luxury, but it’s hard for me to say no to other people. So if my mother wanted one of the three thousand I had on hand, I couldn’t refuse.

I’d say it was like that for the first two years. Then, sometime in the third year, I released some new products and figured out how to leverage my list a bit better. And I learned some new things about the Law of Attraction, and how to maintain a positive frame of mind more deeply and for longer periods of time.

That led to a period of just over a year where I made at least ten thousand dollars a month, sometimes as much as twenty five. This was about the time that I came to my big, huge, gaping, stupid mistake.

I went back to services.

I guess I just got greedy, at the end of the day. Because it wasn’t as if I didn’t have a sterling record with my clients, or as if I didn’t get all of these people via referral. I just overloaded myself with people to service at the same time and it drove me first to the nut house, then to my sick bed, then to what I thought was going to be my death bed.

I take some of that greedy statement back though. At the time, I thought I was taking on the maximum work load – I didn’t realize that the people who were supposed to be my support staff on these projects were going to bail. I also thought that I had funds to pay extra people. So part of it was, in fact, me smelling the approach of millionaire status – because if I could have done this every month for a year, I would have been a millionaire by October of this year.

I admit to being lured by that.

But I was going to be a hero when I did it. I had a foolproof plan, and that was another big failing of mine.

There’s no such thing as a foolproof plan. The instant you think there is, a fool is automatically dumbed down enough to prove you wrong, and sometimes that fool is you.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, here’s the deal. The issue with services is that each client takes up a certain amount of your time each week. If you work forty hours a week, and you fill each of those hours with a different client, and they pay you a hundred dollars for that hour, that’s all well and good, and the four thousand dollars you make has hurt no one at all, long as everyone gets the due worth of their cash.

But.

When you create a product for $27, you make a sales page, put the download on the server in some protected fashion, automate the sales process, and go play golf forty hours a week. Maybe, MAYBE if you’re really a special person, you spend five hours a week blogging too. If you’ve got a list of ten thousand prospects, even if you’re just sending weekly updates to the same list every week, if you’ve done your targeting correctly, you can expect to make $1000 a week, realistically.

That’s with a bad sales letter, and weekly follow-up instead of daily.

So it was less money, but it was also working five hours a week instead of 40. You have to think about quality of life. Services turn you into a slave. If someone can’t follow some simple instructions in a how-to book, and you put your email address in it, they can send you their questions and you can put them back on track, or fill in the gaps in their knowledge in a few minutes.

If you sign up to do it for them instead, the job has to get done – if you have to fight their server ten hours more than you expect for that to happen, unless you’re being paid hourly, you’re SOL. Even if you are, every hour you’re being paid to hammer some details out that you hadn’t counted on is another hour you could have been playing golf. (Are you getting that I’d rather be playing golf? I don’t even like it that much. It’s just better than working a forty hour week.)

That’s what started my next cycle of starving, and what landed me here today.

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